Chi-town boy went backpacking in the Mojave National Reserve for three days. He has a thing for the wilderness.

He left me home to fend for myself. So what’s a girl to do while her loverboy summits a mountain 4 hours away…

Well, I’ll tell you what this girl does.

She stops at that store you really should not walk into if you’re still paying off student loans.

Target = the crack cocaine of retail shopping. Whether I’m contemplating a pair of funky $7.00 earrings or whether I should I cave and buy a cinnamon sugar pretzel from their “cafe”, Target makes me feel good.

If my dear boy were sitting home killing zombies on Xbox, than I’d feet shame walking into the house with those bags. I’d cower past him like a puppy that’s been caught messing on the carpet, knowing any second I could be rightfully reprimanded for those polka dot cereal bowls I had to buy.

When the husband’s away…

I forget I’m a lady on the drive home from work as I pick out the chocolate chips from a bag of trail mix. It’s Trader Joe’s trail mix. Trader Joe’s = the crack cocaine of grocery shopping.

I like to think that trail mix has the same nutritional value if I pick out all of the chocolate chips and eat them first. I feel more confident in this when my husband isn’t around to notice the chocolate left on my face.

When the husband’s away…

I come home and put on ‘The Shins.’  Because The Shins makes me feel 20 years old again, in college, driving around after midnight with my girlfriends on a Thursday night.

While singing along to “New Slang,” I heat up my favorite Indian dish, Paneer Tikka Masala, in a yellow bowl shaped like a leaf…

And savor my meal beneath the moon.

When the husband’s away…

I try to catch up on my reading list but realize after fifteen minutes that I need something a bit more appropriate…

I enjoy re-watching Sex and the City episodes I have seen 15+ times.

Oh, you didn’t think I was watching this totally alone, did you?

That’s one fine and shiny sleeve of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. I left the empty wrapper on the coffee table. Note to self: throw wrapper away before husband returns.

When the husband’s away…

I eat breakfast in bed.

A big bowl of granola with cold almond milk and a dollop of Skippy peanut butter. Skippy might not be the healthiest peanut butter but it reminds me of smearing it on my animal crackers as a kid, on the front porch in my grandma’s rocking chair.

When the husband’s away…

I dig through our box of Christmas “stuff” from our trip to Ohio and fish out a chocolate ball he left in his stocking…

Yes, I really went there. No, I do not regret it.

Because when the husband’s away…

this wife has no shame.

 

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